As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
