I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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