i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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