I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
