you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
