i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
