they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
