The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
