Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
