I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
