margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I could fuck to npr.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
