i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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