You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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