Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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