I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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