some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
