Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
