Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
