I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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