sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
