at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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