im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
