the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
