Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
