thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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