wakey wakey hands off snakey
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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