so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
