i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
