So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
