No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
