You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
