I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
When are your genitals available?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
