he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
