And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
