do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
