Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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