Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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