I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
