So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
