Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
