He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
