gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
