Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We're facebook friends in real life
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize