sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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