do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
