well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
