I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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