yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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