piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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