what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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