i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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