I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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