I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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